Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
They have beer where we have blood.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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