My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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