is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
