you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
