these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
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