i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
