She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
