he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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