I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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