the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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