She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize
