I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
