look no pants
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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