I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Randomize
