She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize