Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Randomize
