it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
