Define "chronic" masturbator.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?