if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
