I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
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