nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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