Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
