I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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