i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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