White coat. Heels.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
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