oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
