did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
