Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
