dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize