im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize