i already hear my dad disowning me
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
