i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Randomize
