For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Randomize
