you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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