Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
