the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
