It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
