is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
