he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
