Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
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