I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I think people are normalizing furries
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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