no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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