it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
