what if every blade of grass was a penis?
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Green mimosas i think yes
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
