Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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