The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
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