dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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