remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
