I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize