does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
