Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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