i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Randomize
