If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Just pee around me
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
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