The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
