Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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