where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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