Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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