My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Found the puke drawer
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
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