Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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