as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
