New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
