You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize