Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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