I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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