Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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