Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
