was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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