hotel room ftw
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i just google imaged poop.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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