yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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