everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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