I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Randomize
