I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
