But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Randomize
