Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
